B-but! But!

I'M A BOY!

[Yeah. Guess whose gender the mansion got wrong and is currently flailing in this. It's sad that it fits him so well :| ]

I only wore that dress one time to get into the Abbey! And even then it was to stop Reverse! Why does this keep happening to me?! It's too breezy!

I just realized that I have no idea how to be German.

Someone mentioned that wishes are coming true. I-I'm not sure how this is happening or why, really, but it truly is a wonder of Wonderland! First a real sun in the sky, now granting the wishes locked in peoples' hearts! You were right, Mr. Prussia. This place really isn't all so bad.

But. Um.

...I think whoever is granting the wishes got a little confused. My Dingo isn't a tan dog, she's a girl! Well. The child of Maka, but still. A-and Steak isn't... an actual steak.

Good try though? I really wish I could have Niche and Gauche and Zaji and Connor a-and my mom here. There must be limits though.

...

H-hello dog! You look a little like Roda. It's nice to meet you?

...At least I don't have to tell this dingo to put on pants...

ARE THINGS EXPLODING?!

Wh-what's happening, I--?! WHY ARE THERE GUNSHOTS?! Stop it! Please! I-I don't want to have to shoot anyone!

What is wrong with this world? The signs, and the mazes, and... WHO IS ALICE?!

THE SKY IS BLUE.

WHY IS THE SKY BLUE?!

THERE'S A SUN AND IT'S MOVING IS IT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?!

I... it's so pretty! Is it real?! It has to be real! The Artificial Sun doesn't move, so this must be a real one oh my gosh I've never seen a real sun before THIS IS SO COOL I LOVE THIS WORLD.

[Aaand a deep breath after that run-on sentence.]

So I guess... I'm really not at home anymore, am I?

...I wish Niche could see this.

Um, hello? This isn’t… where am I? Niche? Zaji? Connor? …Gauche?

[After a long pause, there’s a deep breath, and then…]

HELLO EVERYONE. MY NAME IS LAG SEEING. I’M A LETTER BEE. IT’S VERY NICE TO MEET YOU ALL!

Er… if there’s anyone listening, I’d really like to know where I am, and how I got here for that matter, and where all my friends are. I-if anyone has seen a man—white hair, blue eyes, kinda raggedy clothing—can you please tell me? He’s my best friend, and…

[He sounds a little choked up here, his voice strained and a little louder. YES HE’S CRYING he always does this, get used to it.]

H-he lost his heart, and I need to know if my letter got to him! I want my best friend back so bad. Gauche…

[And suddenly he pauses. He sniffles, and his voice is back to normal.]

Looking out a window… where is the artificial sun? It’s always dark in Yodaka, but even from there there’s some light. And this place is too fancy to be anywhere but Akatsuki…